Oh look. I've been on MyIGN for 4 years now...

This past year has been simultaneously the most overwhelming and rewarding year of my life. As my second year in college comes to a close, I think to myself the lives that I have touched and the futures that I have built. Oh how strange life can be.

If you have not yet noticed, which I do not blame you if you haven’t, I have been, quite honestly, more busy than I have ever been in my life. These past six months alone have transformed me into an individual so foreign to me that I have almost become frightened by it. When life gives you lemons, you are told to make lemonade, but I fear that I might have made too much.

You might be wondering where I am going with this, but in short, I am sorry. I have not been as involved in this community as I have once been, not because I do not desire to—indeed, IGN continues to be one of the few places where I can discuss my passion for gaming with others—but because I no longer have the luxury to sit down and spend an hour writing and commenting on blogs. Quite frankly, my priorities lay elsewhere, as you will soon read. I do not wish for this to be the case, but in this endless haze of life, I had to make some tough decisions.

Usually, with these anniversary blogs, I throw out words of gratitude and highlight my accomplishments. And perhaps by the time you finish reading this, you will realize that may still indeed be the case. However, unlike most of the blogs I have written of this sort, this one will be quite different.

In December, a friend of mine offered me a job. He was graduating at the end of the year and planned to find work elsewhere, so he personally asked me to be his replacement. At first, I was hesitant; I was not actively searching for a job, nor did I really need the money. But as time went on, I became more and more insecure about my future. I attended a job fair and, despite being a relatively successful student, have never felt more defeated and underqualified in my life. I eventually took the job, and now work around fifteen hours a week while keeping up with my studies.

In March, I applied to become Technology Chair for UCI Circle K. Circle K is a community service organization that is found in over a dozen countries around the world. With over 400 paid members at UCI alone, it goes without saying that applying to become a part of such a renowned organization (we won over 20 awards last year) is tough, but I did it, and you can probably guess what happened next. Today, I am in charge of updating a website full of HTML and CSS and PHP and SQL and a ton of other stuff that I do not understand—but if I have learned anything from my 20 years of existence, it is that nothing comes easy.

I plan to spend the next week going through 28 hours of tutorial videos on how to build a website. In the past three months alone, I have spent—and yes, we keep track of this stuff—over 181 hours on Circle K.

As I write this, I am packing up my things in preparation for moving out from my old apartment to a new one closer to campus. As much as I love everything about UCI, the housing system is such a disaster. By next week, I will have lived at four different locations in my time at UCI—and I have only been here for two years! Needless to say, finding a new apartment and trying to get everything set up for move-in has been an endless hassle (f*ck COX), and though I am set to move in soon, not everything is ready yet. Oh well, a part of a growing process I guess.

All of this, plus the usual 12 units of classes I take every quarter, results in little time for anything else. I do not regret the decisions I have made, of course—through them, I have made more friends than I have ever before, a support system that keeps me sane through monotonous lectures and endless exams. But I do wish I could play more video games, write more, and work out more, among other things.

This summer is the first time in a long time that I am not actively signed up for classes. I decided that I needed a break from school and do something fun for a change. In addition to working and learning how to build a website, I signed up to learn Wing Chun at UCI’s recreation center. Wing Chun is best known for being the first martial art that Bruce Lee studied. I have never learned a martial art in my life, so I am quite excited, even if a bit worried, about how this is going to turn out.

It scares me, however, that I am currently half of my way through my college career. Although I am leagues ahead in terms of knowledge of who I was two years ago, I feel as if I have yet to scratch the surface. But in this endless haze of life, perhaps its meaning lies in learning, and if that is truly the case, then I am more than willing to embrace it.

“I won't fade away,

Be forgotten or just cast away.

This life is mine to live.

I won't fade away.

I am lost inside this endless haze of life,

But this life is mine to live.”

~Bryce